Your Need To Know

Here is some good clean humor guaranteed to make you laugh. - Gina

A Man’s Response To An Insurance Company’s Request

I am writing in response to your request for additional information.  In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident.  You said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust that the following details are sufficient:

I am a bricklayer by trade.  On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building.  When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over.  Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at the ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks.  You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds.  Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone.  Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.  Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain. 

At approximately the same time however,  the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.  Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds.  I refer you again to my weight in block number 11.  As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. 

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.  This accounts for the two fractured ankles and lacerations of my legs and lower body.   The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks.  Fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.  I am sorry to report however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to move, and watching the barrel six stories above – I again lost my presence of mind.
 
I let go of the rope.

Author Unknown

YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT

I never intended to fill this site with mindless chatter, but an occasional joke, cute saying, fascinating picture or intriging puzzle can always lighten your day.  This one is pretty neat and fun.

Don’t tell me your age -but your waiter may know!

YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH

This takes less than a minute . Work this out as you read .

1 . First, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat (more than once but less than 10)

2 . Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3 . Add 5

4 . Multiply it by 50

5 . If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758 . . . If you haven’t, add 1757 .

6 . Now subtract the four digit year that you were born .

You should have a three digit number .

The first digit of this was your original number ( How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week).

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE ! —— (Oh YES, it is!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2008) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

Laughter is very good medicine.   It seems I receive many good jokes and pictures from friends, family and readers.   Some of them are special and touch my funny bone or my heart.   I can’t imagine why I have not shared some of them with you before now.   Enjoy!  Gina