Your Need To Know

Hello Cam,

I understand your predicament, as I have been in more than one such situation concerning a friend or loved one. It is very difficult when you are sympathizing and feeling someone’s pain, yet seemingly unable to be of any comfort. My advice is this:

Be a Good Listener
Ask your friend what’s wrong, and really listen to the answer. Let her vent her fears, frustrations and feelings. Maintain eye contact and show her that you’re interested in what she has to say. Resist the urge to give advice at this point, and just let her get it all out. Ask her to expand on these feelings and fears and let her know that you are hearing her. She will appreciate the focused attention, and this will help her feel genuinely cared for and understood. This will provide a good emotional release and make her feel better. (See also Become a Better Listener)

Tell Her Not To Worry
Much easier said than done, I know, but this can be very helpful. Ask her what the “worst case scenario” would be, then show her the Magic Formula for Worry:

a. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that can possibly happen if I can’t solve my problems?”
b. Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst-if necessary.
c. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst-which you have already mentally agreed to accept.

Sometimes, how we react to things in our mind is more important than the “things” themselves.

(See also Don’t Worry, Be Happy)

Motivate Her
Tell her about the positive changes in your life. A lot of encouragement and motivation can be gained from the experiences of a close friend. You say are living proof of the Law of Attraction at work. Explain to your friend, in detail, the changes that have taken place in your life. Does she believe in the Law of Attraction? The Laws of the Universe? For many people, their dire circumstances have taken a dramatic and rapid change for the better when applying the Law of Attraction. All it takes is an understanding of the Law and the faith of a mustard seed. (See also Law of Attraction)

Ask for Divine Help
When it seems as though all is lost, turn to a “Higher Intelligence” and ask for direction and guidance. Understanding that you are made in the image of the Creator of the Universe, and are a living part of eternal spirit, will transform your life. A tenet of Alcohol Anonymous is to “Let go and let God” as you allow the Spirit to assist you. When you ask for Divine guidance, you will experience synchronicity as people and events suddenly turn up in your life.

A person’s particular religion doesn’t matter so much, as long as they believe in a Higher Power, Infinite Intelligence, or God. It is the realization that we are spiritual beings no matter what road is taken to get there.

Each of us is spiritually equipped to overcome and triumph over all the difficulties in our life. We are children of God and made in His likeness. We were made for success, not failure. We have but to ask and believe, and it shall be done.

And all things, whatever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. Matthew 21:22

Using Affirmations of Faith
Affirm, “God is supplying all my needs. He that is within me is greater than he that is in the world and no weapon formed up against me shall prosper.”

Thou shalt decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee; and the light shall shine upon thy ways Job 22:28

When you use affirmations of faith, all the forces of the universe will come to your aid.

Explain the Law of Gratitude
Sometimes we have to remind ourselves what we have to be grateful for. There is a Law of Gratitude and to conform to this law is to amass wealth, health, peace and joy in your life. This law is the natural principal of action and reaction. It simply means that whatever you impress on your subconscious mind will be expressed.

The grateful attitude of your mind for all the good that you share, becomes a conviction in your deeper mind. This leads to a grateful heart and a grateful heart attracts spiritual and material wealth. Gratitude brings about a transformation in our mind and heart and becomes a spiritual and mental magnet, drawing toward us all our desires from countless sources. (See also Law of Gratitude)

You must count your blessings–not your troubles!

A Word on Enabling
A parents’ love for their child(ren) is a very powerful thing, and we must be careful when venturing in to the arena of giving advice on this subject.

I am speaking from first hand experience when I talk about enabling a child. I too have been in this situation with my own son for 2 years.

The young man who receives help too easily and too frequently finds it easier to take the handouts than to make his own way. Of course, you should always be ready to help your child, or any one else who is truly in need, but not to the point of making a parasite out of them.

He that will not work, neither shall he eat. Derived from II Thessalonian 3:10

We can’t make excuses for a child or young adult so we can justify enabling them. The parent continually enabling the child is doing the wrong thing and preventing the child from developing and maturing in responsibility.

This calls for “Tough Love” and a difficult situation for many parents. Because of your love for your child, you must stop enabling. You must resist helping someone who won’t help themselves. Teach your child how to become self-reliant and responsible. Better yet, teach them how to find the riches in life. Teach him that true wealth is in the creative power of his own mind.

Please feel free to download the Free E-Books and articles from this site for Inspiration, Motivation and learning the Law of Attraction.

Gina

Go Back to Ask Gina

With his song, “Live Like You were Dyin’”, Tim McGraw sends a message that we should really heed. Like Tim’s song, many of us will experience a much-dreaded serious accident or terminal diagnosis, and one thing is certain to occur:

We will view our ordinary life with much more appreciation. The things we take for granted will seem much more important and special. We will begin to look at each day as a gift and a miracle. All the little things that bother us won’t seem all that important or worthy of so much of our attention.
The little aggravations that we usually focus on will shrink in importance. Our attention will now be on the precious gift of life.

Live Like You Were Dyin’

I was in my early forties,
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin’ at the x-rays,
Talkin’ ’bout the options and talkin’ ’bout sweet time.
Asked him when it sank in, and this might really be the real end.
How’s it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,

I went sky divin’,
I went rocky mountain climbin’,
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fu Manchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I’ve been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin’.

He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn’t.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin’ fishing,
Wasn’t such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I’d do
If I could do it all again.
And then.

Like tomorrow was a gift and you’ve got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.

I went sky divin’,
I went rocky mountain climbin’,
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fu Manchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin’.
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin’.

We can be fairly certain this will be our reaction to the bad news. That is how it’s been for everyone before us. So, what’s the use of waiting for a life-changing event to appreciate our lives? Why wait until were forced to realize the miracles of our lives and experience gratitude? Why wait to treasure our lives?

Definition of Gratitude

Webster’s Dictionary defines Gratitude as the state of being appreciative of benefits received or pleasing by reasons of comfort supplied. Thankfulness.

We need to realize how short and fragile life really is and how quickly it can change. One minute you have a spouse and a child and the next you don’t. One day you’re enjoying a walk on the beach and the next you have an accident that takes your legs. One day you’re enjoying your beautiful home and the next day it is totally destroyed in a fire. So many things can and do happen every day. Chances are there is someone close to you that has experienced such a tragedy.

There are two ways to look at the frailty of life: One way is feel frightened over the inevitable and to worry about what might happen. The other is to use this uncertainty and fear as a constant reminder of all we have to be grateful for. We need to constantly remind ourselves how fortunate we are to have what we have: a home, a spouse, children, health, a job all else you possess and may take for granted.

Gratitude List

Gratitude is one of the most powerful attractors of what we want. Take a sheet of paper and write down all the things you are grateful for in every area of your life. Include such things as your job or career, your health, your family, your friends, your personal possessions, and everything else you can think of. There is always something to be grateful for in every area of your life. Post this list where you can see it every day. This will keep it in your mind help you to get in the habit of gratitude.

Take a few minutes every day to think about and express gratitude for those things that you have. Make this a part of your life right now and begin to experience more joy. Give it a try. Chances are you have more to be grateful for than you realize.

Live life, don’t just go through it. Experience gratitude.

Gina

Gratitude Quotes

A person of power embraces challenges in complete gratitude. No matter the situation life may bring, discontent is never justified, rather all is experienced as an opportunity and a privilege to adventure and grow. James Ray “

The more youpraise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. Oprah Winfrey

Technorati Tags: Gratitude, Personal Development, Self-help

I received an e-mail today from a very good friend and reader thanking me for her new perspective on life.  I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I shared it with you.

Gina,  I have to share something with you that might have effected me differently before.  I was just looking outside at the rain.  There was a time when I would have grumbled at that, but all that came to my mind was how the little corns that were just planted needed that drink to grow, and how the tired farmers needed a day or two to rest.  Thanks for the new perspective! - Cathy

For me, this was the greatest compliment I could receive.  To know that I have made a difference in someone’s life, to know that even one person has been touched in a positive way is such a great personal reward.

We are all capable of achieving a “New Perspective”.  It is our choice.  We can choose to enjoy life’s beauty and wonder or go about with blinders on unable to see what we were meant to see.  

Everything you experience in your life is a result of your perception of your world.  We need to perceive our world in a way that benefits us.  How we react to things in our mind is more important than the “things” themselves.  We can always control the things that go on inside of us.

”As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 23:7   

For all our life, we have been taught to believe we should be down or depressed when certain things happen in our life.  It’s not whether you have problems - we all have problems.  We all have to deal with problems every day.  It’s the attitude we take toward those problems that makes all the difference.  I choose an attitude of gratitude.

I choose the “New Perspective”.

Gina