Your Need To Know

We all want good results from life. We all want good results in our work, in our home, and in all of our contacts with other people. The single most important factor guaranteeing good results, day in and day out for every day of our lives, is a healthy attitude.

Attitude is defined as “the mental position with regard to a fact or state; the feeling or emotion toward a fact or state”. And it is our mental position, feelings and emotions (our mood) toward others that determines the mood of others toward us. Our attitude tells the world what we expect in return. If we project a cheerful attitude, it says to everyone we come in contact with that we expect good cheer.

We all tend to live up to our expectations, and others give to us what we expect. It’s our attitude towards life that determines life’s attitude toward us. This is an example of the “Law of Cause and Effect“. We produce causes all day long, every day of our lives. Everything we say or do will cause a corresponding effect. If we are cheerful and happy, others will reflect that good cheer back to us. We are the ones other people enjoy being around. We get back what we put out. That’s why each of us determines the quality of our own live’s.

What is the quality of your attitude? Do people tend to react to you in a smiling, positive manner?

Our attitude is something we can control. We can establish our attitude each morning when we start our day. (Actually, we all do that anyway, whether we realize it or not). The attitude that we present to the world today will be reflected back to us by all the people in our world. A great attitude will produce great results; fair attitude, fair results; poor attitude, poor results. Our surroundings are a mirror and will always reflect us. So if a person will control their habitual attitude, they will control the quality of their life.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Yes, but it’s not quite that easy. Learning a new habit takes time and most people never think about their attitudes at all. Most people begin each day in neutral, with neither a good or bad attitude. They just react to whatever they encounter and they will reflect that. If it’s good, they will reflect that. If it’s bad, they will reflect that too. If we could make a habit of establishing a good attitude every day, our world would change dramatically.

To help you get started, here is a simple and easy habit to establish - Every time someone asks you “How are you today?” always respond with a very positive “Wonderful!” Regardless of how you feel, or what’s going on in your life, or what ever challenges you are facing at the time, make your reply the same. “I am wonderful”. Make this your standard response to family, friends, co-workers, neighbors or perfect strangers. I guarantee you a dramatic improvement in your overall attitude, your well being, and your life.

Gina

We all have to take ownership and responsibility for our own anger. Anything you get angry about is really your own anger. It’s yours and you own it. Your own hatred, annoyance or anger are all things that are yours and yours alone.

What we don’t want to do is take ownership of someone else’s anger. We don’t want someone else’s anger to adversely affect our lives.

We all have it in us to “Respond with ability” to these things, but most of us respond with “disability”. You need to see the things that anger you, or the people who behave toward you in ways that annoy you, as their problem. They own it. You don’t own it. Once you see these things as someone else’s problem, you can then “respond with ability” and eliminate “their” anger from “your” life.

Here is an example: We have all probably encountered the rude waitress. One day at a restaurant, my waitress brought me the wrong order. I kindly explained that this was not what I ordered. She then became huffy and angry and argued that I had in fact ordered that dish and that is what she brought out to me. Now, there was a time when I would have gotten angry right back . I would have responded with anger and this would just create more anger. I would have taken ownership of her anger and allowed it to affect my well being. I used to respond with “inability” or “disability” instead of “responsibility”.

I said to her “You must really be having a bad day. I see you are really busy. Don’t worry about it. I will keep what you have brought me. It looks really good and I’m sure I will enjoy it”. Of course, I could have dealt with it much the same way and gotten the dish I ordered, but the point is this was a responsible way of dealing with the situation.
She then replied, “Yes, it has been extremely busy, and we are short handed, and I am a bit frazzled.” Then she apologized for her rudeness.
That person was no longer an annoying thing in my life. I didn’t own her anger. I understand that this is her anger. I simply provided a solution.

You must always remember that you are looking for solutions. You are not looking to win or be right. When you blame someone else for being annoying in your life, what you are really saying is “Why don’t you be more like me? Then I wouldn’t be so annoyed.” What you need to do is eliminate that kind of thinking. You must say to yourself about this person “You are who you are and you are behaving in the only way you know how.” “You don’t know anything different and I will respond to you with what I am.”

You can respond, ignore it, or deal with it effectively, but never own it. You never want to own someone else’s anger.

Gina