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Law of Attraction
We all have to take ownership and responsibility for our own anger. Anything you get angry about is really your own anger. It’s yours and you own it. Your own hatred, annoyance or anger are all things that are yours and yours alone.
What we don’t want to do is take ownership of someone else’s anger. We don’t want someone else’s anger to adversely affect our lives.
We all have it in us to “Respond with ability” to these things, but most of us respond with “disability”. You need to see the things that anger you, or the people who behave toward you in ways that annoy you, as their problem. They own it. You don’t own it. Once you see these things as someone else’s problem, you can then “respond with ability” and eliminate “their” anger from “your” life.
Here is an example: We have all probably encountered the rude waitress. One day at a restaurant, my waitress brought me the wrong order. I kindly explained that this was not what I ordered. She then became huffy and angry and argued that I had in fact ordered that dish and that is what she brought out to me. Now, there was a time when I would have gotten angry right back . I would have responded with anger and this would just create more anger. I would have taken ownership of her anger and allowed it to affect my well being. I used to respond with “inability” or “disability” instead of “responsibility”.
I said to her “You must really be having a bad day. I see you are really busy. Don’t worry about it. I will keep what you have brought me. It looks really good and I’m sure I will enjoy it”. Of course, I could have dealt with it much the same way and gotten the dish I ordered, but the point is this was a responsible way of dealing with the situation.
She then replied, “Yes, it has been extremely busy, and we are short handed, and I am a bit frazzled.” Then she apologized for her rudeness.
That person was no longer an annoying thing in my life. I didn’t own her anger. I understand that this is her anger. I simply provided a solution.
You must always remember that you are looking for solutions. You are not looking to win or be right. When you blame someone else for being annoying in your life, what you are really saying is “Why don’t you be more like me? Then I wouldn’t be so annoyed.” What you need to do is eliminate that kind of thinking. You must say to yourself about this person “You are who you are and you are behaving in the only way you know how.” “You don’t know anything different and I will respond to you with what I am.”
You can respond, ignore it, or deal with it effectively, but never own it. You never want to own someone else’s anger.
Gina