Your Need To Know

I can’t imagine anything easier than saying the words “I love you.”  But for whatever reasons, many people just don’t do it.  Maybe we believe that our loved ones don’t need to hear it, that they don’t want to, or that they won’t believe it.  Maybe our parents seldom said it to us. 

Maybe we’re too stubborn or too shy.  Whatever the reason, it’s not good enough.  There are just too many important reasons to tell the people in your life that you love them.

Whether or not you heard these words enough in your life is not at issue here.  At issue here is the fact that saying “I love you” makes people feel good.  It reminds them that they are not alone and that you care.  It raises their self-esteem and makes you feel good too.   It is simple, painless, and free.

Saying “I love you” is one of the most powerful sentences in the world.  People who know they are loved (because they have been told) are able to offer the world their love in return.  They have a quiet confidence and a sense of inner peace.

One of my firmest beliefs is that when you have what you want, your natural inclination is to give back to others.  So by saying “I love you” to a single person, you are, indirectly, helping the world at large. 

Genuinely saying the words “I love you” can erase a myriad of mistakes in the eyes of your loved ones.  This has many personal benefits as well.  It feels good.  Since giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin, it’s absolutely true that giving is it’s own reward.  Saying these loving words is one of the most basic and simple forms of giving.

There are so many opportunities to express your love in this manner: When you get home, when you leave, when you awake in the morning and before you go to bed.  Develop the habit of saying “I love you” before hanging up when talking on the telephone. 

Your opportunities are unlimited.  This will be one of the easiest things you ever do, one of the most important, and one of the most rewarding.  

 Gina

Technorati Tags: Self-esteem, Love, Self-improvement 

Here is another inspirational story with the moral: It’s never too late to be all you can possibly be. Gina

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we did not already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, ‘Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?’

I laughed and enthusiastically responded; ‘Of course you may!’ and she gave me a giant squeeze.

‘Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?’ I asked.

She jokingly replied, ‘I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…’

‘No seriously,’ I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

‘I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!’ she told me.
After class, we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this ‘time machine’ as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester, we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I will never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, ‘I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.’

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ‘We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old, lie in bed for one full year, and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old, stay in bed for a year, and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets’

She concluded her speech by courageously singing ‘The Rose.’

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end, Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation, Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Author Unknown

“Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”
 Samual Ullman

Technorati Tags:Inspiration,Motivation
 

Just Who Do You Think You Are?

Each of us has a concept of ourselves.  Our self-concept is a combination of all the thoughts and experiences that have happened to us over the course of our lives.  These thoughts and experiences come together to form an image of the person we believe ourselves to be.  Our self-concept is a controlling factor in determining much of our success and happiness in life.  In everything we do, we always act and respond in a manner consistent with our self-image.

The root of our self-concept and the core of our personality is self-esteem.  Our self-esteem is the level of satisfaction we have in ourselves.

Our self-esteem is a very important factor in our success and achievements.  A person with high self-esteem likes him or herself.  People who genuinely like and accept themselves as valuable, perform at higher levels of effectiveness and attain higher levels of achievement. 

We are all born into this world without any concept of ourselves.   Every concept we now have of who we are, we learned while we were growing up.   At a very young age, we began to develop our self-concept based on the way our parents treated us.  We learned whether we were lovable, intelligent, talented, or worthwhile. If we did not receive high-quality love in the first three to five years, we developed deficiencies.  For the rest of our lives, we will try to compensate for these deficiencies rather than realize our potential.

We continue developing our self-concept for the rest of our lives based on what we experience and what we think.  Experiences during our childhood play an especially large role in shaping our basic self-esteem. 

When growing up, how we were treated by our family, friends, teachers, coaches, and preachers all contributed to creating our basic self-esteem. If we were harshly criticized, yelled at, ridiculed, beaten or abused, we likely will have low self-esteem.  If we were expected to be perfect all the time and given messages that our shortcomings meant we were failures, we likely will have low self-esteem.

A healthy self-esteem means we are able to accept ourselves as worthy and worthwhile unconditionally and without reservation.

Does your self-concept and self-esteem need improvement?   Most of us have an idea of what low self-esteem is, but it is not always easy to recognize. 

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I really like myself?  Do I love myself?  Or,

• Do I act happy and successful, but I am really terrified of failure? 
• Do I live with constant anger about not feeling “good enough”?
• Do I always need to prove that others’ criticisms don’t bother me? 
• Do I constantly look to others for guidance? 
• Do I feel unable to cope with the world and use self-pity or indifference as a shield?
• Do I constantly criticize or belittle myself?
• Am I overly jealous?
   Being jealous is a result of a low self-image because a person with a high self- image and a high level of self-esteem does not feel jealous.

Am I anxious, stressed, lonely or depressed?  These can all be negative consequences of low self-esteem.  These negative consequences themselves reinforce a negative self-image and can spiral a person into lower and lower self-esteem.

How do I raise my self-image and self-esteem? 

Help Yourself

1.   Think about your ideal self.  Everyone has feelings, thoughts and mental pictures of the ideal person we would like to be. 

2.   Setting goals and thinking about them continually raises our self-image and moves us towards our ideal self.  This causes us to like our self more and moves us toward the full realization of our potential.

3.   Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments.  Make a list of the things you like about yourself.  Keep a list of accomplishments you are proud of where you can see them (Awards, degrees, certificates, citations, etc.).

4.    Make affirmations.  Affirm that you are a worthy person and deserving to feel good.  Affirm that you really like yourself and compliment or reward yourself for every accomplishment.

5.   Plan fun and relaxing things for yourself.  Do more of the things you really enjoy.

6.   Take care of yourself.  Eat healthy, get plenty of exercise and rest, and practice good hygiene.

Get Help From Others

1.   Ask your friends to tell you what they like about you and what they think you do well.

2.   Ask someone who loves you to remind you that they do.

3.   Talk to a therapist or Counselor.  Sometimes low self-esteem can be so difficult to overcome that the help of a professional therapist or counselor is needed.  Talking to a counselor is a good way to learn more about your self-esteem issues and begin to improve. 

As difficult as it may seem, improving your self-esteem will be well worth the effort.  Set a course towards greater satisfaction with yourself and with your life.

Gina

 Technorati Tags:Self-esteem, Self-concept, Self-image