Your Need To Know

I hope everyone is starting the New Year without those silly resolutions.  Those New Year Resolutions were made to be broken.  Make them goals instead.  Make them grand and measurable.  Write them down! This is the “Secret” of the wealthy.

I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but making/setting measurable goals is the best way to achieve what you want to accomplish in the coming year or years ahead.   This is a much better approach than New Year resolutions.

Resolutions are fine and dandy as far as tradition, and it can be fun.  But really, how many have you made only to forget about them in a few days?  The whole resolution thing is not what it’s cracked up to be.  There is usually little follow-through.

If you are serious about what you want to achieve in the coming twelve months (or less), make your resolution an honest to goodness goal.   Give it a chance to be acted upon and better yet achieved.

 A goal should be written.  There is a lot to be said for the power of a written goal.  It becomes something tangible.  Your written goals should be posted in your office, by your computer screen, on your tool box, or where ever it is that you spend your days.  You need this constant reminder that you have a goal.

It is also a good idea to have a way to measure your progress or success.  What portion of your goal are you going to complete in the first month?  In the first six months?  When it is broken down in this way, you have a much better chance of achieving.

 Let’s say you made a New Year resolution to lose weight.  I’m going to go on a diet and get in shape this year.  That’s it.  I’ll start right after I finish all these lovely desserts left over from the party.  Maybe I’ll join a gym.
We all know that for many of us, this will last a day to a week.

 Let’s say you set a goal to lose weight.   It has to be measurable so you set a goal to lose 20 pounds.  Now you are going to break it down into portions.  I’m going to lose 20 pounds in 60 days.  I will lose 10 pounds in the first thirty days.  You have written this down and posted it where you see it everyday.   Just by doing so will help you to stay focused.  Focused not only your end result, but the first step: to lose 10 pounds in 30 days.   So now, you only need to lose 10 and not 20.  Because when you reach the first portion - the 10 pounds - you will be much more motivated to continue.  The second portion of your goal will be easier.

Create and write your business, personal, health, relationship and spiritual goals.  Any thing you want to achieve.  Keep them as a constant reminder and give yourself a chance to achieve these goals.  A much better chance than a resolution.

Next:  7 Steps for Setting and Achieving Your Goals

Gina

We all have to take ownership and responsibility for our own anger. Anything you get angry about is really your own anger. It’s yours and you own it. Your own hatred, annoyance or anger are all things that are yours and yours alone.

What we don’t want to do is take ownership of someone else’s anger. We don’t want someone else’s anger to adversely affect our lives.

We all have it in us to “Respond with ability” to these things, but most of us respond with “disability”. You need to see the things that anger you, or the people who behave toward you in ways that annoy you, as their problem. They own it. You don’t own it. Once you see these things as someone else’s problem, you can then “respond with ability” and eliminate “their” anger from “your” life.

Here is an example: We have all probably encountered the rude waitress. One day at a restaurant, my waitress brought me the wrong order. I kindly explained that this was not what I ordered. She then became huffy and angry and argued that I had in fact ordered that dish and that is what she brought out to me. Now, there was a time when I would have gotten angry right back . I would have responded with anger and this would just create more anger. I would have taken ownership of her anger and allowed it to affect my well being. I used to respond with “inability” or “disability” instead of “responsibility”.

I said to her “You must really be having a bad day. I see you are really busy. Don’t worry about it. I will keep what you have brought me. It looks really good and I’m sure I will enjoy it”. Of course, I could have dealt with it much the same way and gotten the dish I ordered, but the point is this was a responsible way of dealing with the situation.
She then replied, “Yes, it has been extremely busy, and we are short handed, and I am a bit frazzled.” Then she apologized for her rudeness.
That person was no longer an annoying thing in my life. I didn’t own her anger. I understand that this is her anger. I simply provided a solution.

You must always remember that you are looking for solutions. You are not looking to win or be right. When you blame someone else for being annoying in your life, what you are really saying is “Why don’t you be more like me? Then I wouldn’t be so annoyed.” What you need to do is eliminate that kind of thinking. You must say to yourself about this person “You are who you are and you are behaving in the only way you know how.” “You don’t know anything different and I will respond to you with what I am.”

You can respond, ignore it, or deal with it effectively, but never own it. You never want to own someone else’s anger.

Gina